My borderline wife doesn’t ask for things. Instead, it’s, “I need that pan.” “I’ll take a cookie.” “The dishwasher needs to be emptied.” “You can rub my feet.” But almost never will she say, “Will you ______ please?” I’ve brought it to her attention and the closest she will come is “Would you be willing to ______,” which is close but not quite. What is the dynamic that explains this?
My borderline wife doesn’t ask for things. Instead, it’s, “I need that pan.” “I’ll take a cookie.” “The dishwasher needs to be emptied.” “You can rub my feet.” But almost never will she say, “Will you ______ please?” I’ve brought it to her attention and the closest she will come is “Would you be willing to ______,” which is close but not quite. What is the dynamic that explains this?