You're an emotionless robot!

A narcissist says what?

Narcissist Dictionary: "You're an emotionless robot!"

Of course, you're not really an emotionless robot. If a narcissist, borderline or histrionic partner or ex has ever accused you of being an emotionless robot, heartless, cold, unfeeling, etc., it likely means that:

a) You’ve stopped telling the NPD, BPD or HPD your thoughts and feelings. You’ve learned that when you do tell them how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking, they weaponize it against you.

b) You’ve emotionally detached and walk away from their Cluster B threats, tantrums, rages, name-calling and victim playing.

c) You're freezing as a defense mechanism and/or trauma response (i.e., fight, flight, freeze or fawn).

Relationships with narcissists, histrionics and borderlines eventually devolve into an endless series of no-win situations, which can instill learned helplessness then despair.

You have emotions, but you've stopped sharing them because it isn't safe. Detachment is healthy in the face of repetitive, relentless pointless conflict. The healthiest choice would be to end the relationship and have friendships with people who don't mistreat and abuse you.

Ideally, detachment and disengagement is a temporary coping strategy while planning your exit. Long-term it's no way to live.

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

I help individuals with relationship and codependency issues via telephone, FaceTime, GoogleMeet or Skype. Since 2009, I’ve specialized in helping men and women break free of abusive relationships, cope with the stress of ongoing abuse and heal from trauma. I combine practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. If you’d like to schedule an initial consult, please email me directly at shrink4men@protonmail.